I know it’s not always easy to be a single mom, but there are so many things for me to appreciate.
In fact, I was afraid that having kids would make me completely open and vulnerable.
But that is not the case at all; in fact, it has made me stronger. Now I find myself being much more aware of my emotions and it makes me feel closer to my kids.
It is quite hard to describe actually. But when I am with them, it feels like we are all one.
To be honest, this is not the first time in my life that I am going through some hard times. My childhood was rough and I had to deal with a lot of disappointment.
I didn’t have any friends growing up; actually, kids did bully me a lot.
I couldn’t really relate to anyone because everyone seemed so much happier than me.
Everyone except for one guy who got bullied even more than me. He was too nerdy for the other kids’ taste but he didn’t seem to care at all.
I envied him for that sometimes and it made me want him as my friend -even though I knew we were both outcasts around the school.
One day we started talking about our favorite books and movies which turned into a weekly thing.
Even though we were both nerds, he wasn’t really good at some of the things I needed help with.
In fact, it shocked me how clueless he was about some topics that were pretty basic for someone his age -even though he did have a learning disability.
But I stuck by him because I liked his company; and when I felt sad or lonely, he was always there for me to talk out my problems even if it meant staying up late until dawn talking about everything under the sun.
And then one day after we had been friends for almost two years, something happened between us that changed our relationship forever…and in more ways than one!
When we were hanging out together at home one weekend afternoon, he asked if I was aware of the fact that we were holding hands.
I wasn’t but it didn’t surprise me when he said he had been doing it for a while now. He chuckled a little after confessing his love to me and I blushed with embarrassment as well.
But what happened next shocked me beyond words…he kissed me!
I pulled back because I didn’t know how to react at first. And then I started crying because hugging him felt just right -and more importantly, it was the first time in my life that someone made me feel loved like this!
I knew there was something about us all along but maybe now is not the best time for both of us since I did still have a bit of a crush on someone else.
He said he didn’t care about that at all and he decided to stay with me even if it meant we wouldn’t be able to see each other as often because I was going away for college in a month!
I still felt really bad after telling him about my feelings for another boy, but he seemed fine with it; and once again, he reassured me that we would always be together no matter what happened.
It’s been two years since then and I am so glad that I have found something real with someone who is actually worth my time!
To this day, I feel deeply connected to him in ways I never thought possible. And when the kids were born, everything became perfect -even if we had no idea what to name them!
It doesn’t really matter since I love them all the same. And they have made me realize that everything happens for a reason; even if it might look hopeless at first, there is always light waiting for you after the darkness!
I knew that being a single mom would be hard…but I am happy and I wouldn’t change any of this at all because this is my beautiful reality.”